On Happiness

This entry is from my personal reflection journal on Dec. 5th. Most people don't agree with my ideas here I am not sure I even agree with it all, but I wrote it regardless. It’s an interesting thought pattern.


I do not think happiness exists. It is a figment of our imaginations. It's a lie that we tell ourselves. We strive for it, cheat for it, and some even kill for it. It consumes us but yet we never find it. If someone says they are happy they are lying to you and them selves.
We think our actions can bring happiness. What a bunch of garbage! Sometimes we get moments of joy but we are never brought to the point where we are happy or content. More times then not my right actions bring the same or worse pain then my wrong actions. It’s just the pain is harder to deal with when you do the right thing. It makes you question right and wrong! Why do you show love to a person when they treat you like crap, no matter what you do? Because its right; but it is the most painful thing in the world.
Pain seems the only thing that is real. I feel it every day! It burns inside my head, it magnifies in my aching muscles. It churns my stomach to the point of becoming physically sick. It is so real but yet so hard to live in.
So I try to escape pain. I don’t want to be put to death and pain is what kills me. I can see why people Sin against them selves and others. They are trying to live without pain. They try to numb it with sex, drugs, the media, but in the end pain is always waiting and they only magnify it and make things worse. It causes more problems instead of less. But no matter how I hurt I cannot bring my self to knowingly sin against another. Why do I love those who hurt me? Because that is who I am.
I am the Lover: I love those who others loathe but I see the painful beauty in their souls.
This gift is a curse!
I am the Romantic: I see hope in the hopeless and believe dreams come true.
I am the Poet: Spinning woes of pain into beauty, seeing love as the essence of life. Oh how hard it is to be the one to cry and have these burdens upon my shoulders but it appears I cannot live another way.

To the listener...... I leave


Peace, Love and Empathy


B~ron